Wednesday, February 18, 2009


I was doing my normal Metro commute in today - reading my daily Bible that I have on my phone (the app is called 'YouVersion' and it's great) when I came across some really humorous situations.

The amazing thing is that these biblical comedy moments are in Genesis - YEAH GENESIS!

Now, you have to read The Book close to catch this so let me set this up:

Genesis 46.

Joseph has just revealed who he really is to his mean brothers - the same guys who traded him away to become a slave - then they took his colorful coat - ripped it up - splotched it with animal blood and then told dad that they found this bloody coat along the way. Is it Joseph's coat? If it is he must be torn to shreds.

Dad (Jacob) is devastated.

The brothers are free of their sissy boy - daddy's little pet - tattle tale of a brother.

Joseph's screenplay begins - the title is not 'Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat' - a more fitting name for this movie is, 'Boy Interrupted'.

You know the story - if you don't then stop reading this blog and go read your Bible for crying out loud! :-)

Joseph finds himself in a...

Potiphars Play House...
Pharaohs Palace...

Joseph saves Egypt from famine.
His brothers show up wanting to buy food.
He plays some pretty cool mind games with them.
And now the funny stuff...

Gen. 46:21

Funny Fact #1 - Benjamin names 3 of his sons, "Muppim, Huppim, and Ard. What's up with that? He has some really good Bible names for the others but then it's like he gets a little cooky when the last three are born.
Perhaps Muppim and Huppim are twins that performed a cool puppet skit - an early form of a PBS kids show - I don't know.

Ard? Seriously?

Maybe Ard is the son that ate little bugs Can't you hear Muppim and Huppim crying, "Daaaad, Ard is licking stink bugs again...he's messing up our 'Super Terrific Happy Hour'!"
Sorry all of you that belong to the biblical scholar society - I realize that their names represent....oh forget it - the names are flippin' hiliarious - let's move on...

Gen. 46:29-30

Funny Fact #2 - Reunited?

Joseph pulls up in his chariot - he sees dear old dad - dad sees his long lost son - the emotional music swells - they run across the field in slow motion - they embrace - tears are flowing - snot is running - everybody is bawling and then Jacob looks at Joseph and says...

"Im ready to die now"

Nice. Just what your newly reunited son needs to hear you say.
'But dad, you just got here!!! Can't you hang around a few days to take your grandkids fishing in the Nile?' I don't think Joseph asked him that but Jacob did stick around for another 17 years. Thank the Lord he got a chance to make up for some of that lost time.

Side note: You ever know anyone who always lived with one foot in the grave? I do....uh or should I say I did....he finally really - this man's wife and daughter would always tearfully request prayer for their husband and their dad because 'he's inches from death! He'll probably be walking with Jesus before sundown!'

They talked like this for 12 years. Poor guy.

He should have watched Shawshank Redemption and followed Brooks advice:

"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'."

Gen. 46:33,34 - 47:1-3

Funny Fact #3 - "Don't say the 'S' word.

Joseph knew the ropes. He had a good handle on Egyptian etiquette.
So he tries to coach his mean brothers in verse 33,

"When Pharaoh calls for you and asks you about your
occupation, you must tell him, "We, your servants, have RAISED LIVESTOCK all our lives..."

It was like Joseph was telling them - 'tell Pharaoh what you do but don't tell him what you REALLY do for a living because the Egyptians despise shepherds. Don't use the 'S' word guys.'
Now, Joseph told his brothers that he was going to inform Pharaoh that they were shepherds but when the time came...he didn't. Now, fast forward to when the hillbilly brothers appeared before Pharaoh and he asked them about their resume - they flat out told him what they did and I imagine them sounding like Forrest Gump when they started talking:

'We are shepherds - in fact our whole family are shepherds - our daddy's daddy's, daddy was a shepherd - I just guess our family likes sheeeeeep - mama always said...'

Just follow the instructions. Don't you wish we could all just follow the instructions?
Do what the Bible tells us to do. Obey the laws of the land like we're supposed to. We fail to do this don't we. Thank the Lord there's grace and mercy for those of us who have a hard time doing what we're told to do.

Gen. 47:7

Funny Fact #4 - Jacob speaks his mind.

Joseph finally shoves his brothers out of the way. Now, he presents his father, Jacob, to Pharaoh. There's no hello - my name is - no, 'how ya doing?' - Grandpa Jacob just starts blessing like there's no tomorrow. Awesome. Finally Pharaoh asks him what I think is a funny question - 'how old are you?'
Jacob gives an even funnier answer - no disrespect intended here but just imagine this crusty old man standing in mighty Pharaohs golden throne room and he say's...

"Well let me tell ya there sonny I'm a 130 years old but compared to my kinfolk my days have been short and not worth a spit in a can.
How 'bout yours?"

Pharaoh just sits there looking at Jacob.

That ends the conversation but THEN - out of the blue - Jacob starts blessing Pharaoh all over again.

Absolutely priceless.

I love the Word.
I don't believe in adding to it but I like to slow down and really think about what I'm reading. The Bible is so fascinating. So powerful. So necessary. So ignored.

But it can also be extremely hilarious in places.

A good rule of thumb for me is to slow down when I read my Bible - look for answers, direction, encouragement, correction and even a little comedy once in a while.

"A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired."
Proverbs 22:17 (The Message)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

that's EXACTLY how i read the bible too! that blessed me this morning.

Karate Man